My Dead Girl - Music

Frogtoon Music - Song Info: My Dead Girl

Speedy-Ortiz - Foil Deer

Sadie Dupuis There’s A Really Specific Story About That Song. Like I Told You I Spent Most Of July Holed Up At My Mom’s House And She Lives Relatively Near The Summer Arts Camp At Which I Used To Run The Music Department Where I Recorded The First Speedy Ortiz Demos. A Lot Of My Old Friends Still Work There And One Of My Best Friends Cindy Had A Day Off On The Fourth Of July. So She Came Over And We Went Swimming In Lake Waramaug In The Rain And Tried To Each Write Three Songs That Day—she’s A Really Brilliant Songwriter And I’m Super Inspired By Her And It Sort Of Felt Like This Poetic Great American Girl-Power Holiday Or Something. We Were Still Working On Our Third Songs When She Had To Go Back To Camp To Put The Kids To Bed So I Dropped Her Off And Pulled Over To The Side Of The Road Across From A Park To Finish Writing This Song. I Think The Initial Concept Of The Song Was About Independence—it Was The Fourth Of July After All And I Was Happy About Having Such A Great Day With My Friend Cindy—so It Was Like “I Go Riding In Cars / But You’re Not The Driver.” Like I’m A Strong Woman I Can Do Whatever I Want I Can See Whomever I Want And I Don’t Care If My Independence Makes Other People Feel Insecure Like “Better Yet Better Get / Jealous Of What Didn’t Get Your Name” Means Dudes Stop Trying To Own Me. So About Halfway Into Writing Out This Song A Bunch Of Fratty Looking Bros Park Across The Street From Me. And I Guess They See Me In The Back Of My Car Playing Guitar And Decide To Come Over To My Car. And They’re Laughing They’re Knocking On My Window I Can Vaguely Hear Them Joking About How They’re Gonna Break Into My Car… It Was Terrifying. I Had No Idea What To Do. We’re Basically At A Park In The Middle Of The Woods. If These Guys Broke Into My Car And Pulled Me Out It Wouldn’t Have Been A Safe Situation For Me. And It Went On For So Long… Mike Was Supposed To Meet Me At The Park But I Had No Idea How Long It Would Take For Him To Get There. I Hesitated To Call The Cops For Whatever Reason. So The Song Sort Of Took This Different Turn Basically While I Was Sitting In The Backseat Of My Car With These Dudes Shining Their Flashlights Into My Car. I Wrote “If These Are My Last Words Guess You Found Me” Because I Was Literally Afraid I Was Going To Get Kidnapped Raped Murdered And This Little Notebook With My Song Scrawled In It Would Be The Only Evidence Anyone Would Find. It Would Have Been Such A Drastic Change Of Events From What Had Up To That Point Been This Perfect Idyllic Day. Thank God Mike Pulled Up And Had His Headlights On And All Those Guys Scurried Back Into Their Car And Drove Away. So The Song Sort Of Turned From An Ode To Independence Into A Mourning Of The Depressing Footnote That Comes Along With Female Independence Which Is That We Always Have To Be On Guard Against Assault And Harassment And Violence Always. And That’s A Direct Result Of Rape Culture. You Can Go From Feeling Like The Most Powerful Person In The World To Feeling Terrified Just Because Someone Is Walking Too Close To You. And I Guess That’s What The Song Is About—the Simultaneous Freedom To Be Whatever You Want To Do Whatever You Want Coupled With The Unfortunate Reality That There’s Always Someone Trying To Take That Power Away From You.