John Dowie Born 1950 In Birmingham Is A British Comedian Musician And Writer. He Began Performing Stand-Up Comedy In 1969 Dowie Was Among The Inaugural Acts On Tony Wilson's Legendary Factory Records Label. In 1978 He Contributed Three Comedic Songs To The Very First Factory Music Release A Factory Sample Along With Joy Division The Durutti Column And Cabaret Voltaire. In 1981 A Seven-Inch Single Followed The Martin Hannett-Produced It's Hard To Be An Egg Which Dowie Described As A Flop. "It's Hard To Be An Egg" Was Also Featured In Episode 1 Of The 'Wood And Walters' Show. It Is Noteworthy As Having Unusual Packaging Even By Factory Standards The Disc Is White Vinyl With A "yolk" Printed On The Label And Is Packaged In A Clear Plastic Sleeve With A Real White Feather. Dowie's Final Factory Contribution Was A VHS Video Entitled Simply Dowie A Recording Of A Live Performance At The Edinburgh Fringe Festival With Ralph Steadman Cover Art. In 2005 Dowie Collaborated With Phill Jupitus And Neil Innes On A Musical Comedy CD For Children. In 2006 He Recorded A Remake Of British Tourist With The Dutch Computer Music Group The POW Ensemble For LabelX-OR Records.
I'm A British Tourist And I'm Very Very Rude. I Hate The Stinking Foreigners Hate Their Stinking Food I Don't Like French Or Germans I Don't Care For Belgians Much But Worst Of All Worst Of All I Hate The Dutch The Dutch The Dutch I Hate Them Worse Than Dogs. They Live In Windmills and Mince Around In Clogs. They Don't Have Any Manners They Don't Say 'thanks' Or 'please' all They Eat Is Tulips and Stinking Gouda Cheese... I'm A British Tourist With A Countenance Severe I Love To Strike The Foreign Type And Box Their Poxied Ears But There's One Woggy Dago I Cannot Bear To Touch The Slimy Crawling Stench Appalling snotty Grotty Dutch The Dutch Are Mad Their Fingers Stuck In Dikes They Use The Wrong Side Of The Road And Ride Around On Bikes They Don't Have Any Manners Don't Have Any Brains. There's Only One Race Worse Than Them and That's... THE DANES!