Leona Anderson

Lest You Hasten To Place This Record On Your Phonograph In An Unguarded Moment For The Muted Background Entertainment Of Dinner Guests Or Perhaps Just Droppers-By A Word Of Advice To Those Who Perchance Fall Into The Category Of The More Ardent Lovers Of The Arts—in This Case Music ? —EN GARDE!!! Vocal Coaches Throughout The World Are Still Recuperating From Their Fruitless Attempts To Make A Singer Out Of LEONA ANDERSON—who After Exhausting The Best Available Teachers In The Country Headed For Europe To Continue Her Search For A Master Magician Of Vocal Vitaliziation! But From Every Tonal-Tutor Came The Same Comment "Worst Voice I've Ever Heard! Try The Piano. Or Bass Violin Maybe?" And So Leona Finally Threw In The Towel And Downheartedly Headed Back To New York Through With Singing And Singing Teachers Forever! But Hardly Two Months Had Gone By 'til The Dejected Diva Happened To Read A News Item About A Search For "the Worst Voice In The World" And With More Than Enough "references" To Literally Guarantee Her Unconstested Quality Leona Applied For The Job And From That Moment On Has Worn The Undisputed Crown Of "THE WORLD'S MOST HORRIBLE SINGER." Nothing Delights Foggy Or Should We Say Froggy Voiced Leona More Than For People To Tell Her How Badly She Sings. "The Badder The Better " She Chirps! The Kid Sister Of Bronco Billy Anderson Silent Picture Star Has Been Wailing That's A Pretty Good Word For It! For Many A Moon Never Giving An Inkling As To Her Age—the Word Has It That When The Dutch Purchased Manhattan Island From The Indians A Miss Anderson Gave A Most Admirable Performance At The Ceremonies! From Her Debut At 15 In A George M. Cohan Revue Leona First Pursued A Serious Operatic Career Before Her Switch To Satire Landed Her Starring Roles In Such Movies As In The Park And A Burlesque With Stan Laurel On Blood And Sand Titled Mud And Sand. Between Film Assignments Radio Shows And Club Dates Kept Leona On A Steady Trek Back And Forth Across The Country. Her "assault & Battery" Song Stylings Won Out Over The Other Facets Of Her Busy Career And Her First Recording FISH Caused A Mild Earthquake In The Music Business! The Critics Screamed "She Can't Sing A Note!" Ah But They Spoke In Haste For In Truth Miss Anderson Has Mastered One Full Note And Confidently Predicts That Before The Year Is Out She'll Be Giving Top Coloraturas Some Stiff Competition With TWO Full Pear-Shaped Tones! The St. Louis Mezzo-With-Method In Her Madness Is A Lovable Lady With A Delightful Way Of Kidding Herself While Simultaneously Poking Fun At The Opera Singers—the Way They "slur Up And Down Prolong Notes And Pronounce Simple Words With Such An Over-Abundance Of Emotion." Leona's Rolling Of An "r" Closely Resembles The Sounds Of A Rapid-Firing Machine Gun! The "chan-Tootsie" Says "Opera Singers Just Can't Kid Themselves Properly. They Can Never Let Their Voices Go." But Leona Has The Advantage She Really Lets Her Voice Go And In Fact Hasn't Been Able To Get It Back Again! It's Been Said That There Is An Art In Being Consistently Bad And If So This Is A Collection Of A True Artist Who's Tops In Her Field. So Brace Yourself For Music To Suffer By For This Is LEONA ANDERSON At Her WORST—which Is Actually Her BEST!! read less