Spencer Swan is a post-adult-contemporary-country artist with a hint of progressive sludge flair. After a traumatic childhood in the slums of Ho Chi Minh City, where he made ends meet through a combination of low-level burglary and the robbery of poor boxes, he escaped into neighboring Laos, mainly because of the weak Vietnamese dating scene. There, in a condemned record shop, he discovered a dusty 7" of Daniel Powter's ballad "Bad Day" coupled with the Aly 'n AJ cover of Katrina and the Waves's timeless "I'm Walking On Sunshine" as a b-side. This, coupled with an adoration of the Nicholas Cage filmography, prompted him to start work at his Garage Band program, thinking that it would help him break into the local dating scene. He first broke the charts with his smash hit "I Can't Find My! House," and quickly followed this success by releasing the watershed album "Who Is My! Oven?" This talent could not go unnoticed forever and, in addition to becoming a hot commodity on the dating scene, he was quickly picked up to open for the Baha Men on their third world tour, however, by the end of the tour, the Baha Men were opening for Swan. After the tour he would begin work on his magnum opus, "Pussy On My! Face." Songs like "Help Me Move My! Nymphs" and "How Does My! Foot Work?" became anthems for a generation just coming of age, looking for edgy, innovative music that still maintained the strict Christian values of their forefathers and injected some sweet-beats into the already-bumpin' dating scene. Swan now holds residency in the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art, where he expresses his legendary hits through Dada-ism. He lives alone, subsisting on a humble diet of Tenley Rum and baby-meat, now far-removed from the dating scene he once knew so well.