FAKE PATRIOTS: The Time: 1996ish. The Place: Perth, Scotland. The Inspiration: Punk Rock & BEER!!! Sick of fannying around rehearsing with local Kurt Cobain wannabes, ROSSKO wanted to start his own band to play the sort of music he loved, Punk, Oi!, Hardcore, so set about recruiting like minded sonic terrorists to assist him. Already fairly proficient on Bass guitar, influenced by the likes of KLAUS FLOURIDE, ROB WRIGHT of NOMEANSNO, & of course LEMMY, he needed to find a good drummer to complete the rhythm section. An ad placed in a local record shop promising free beer & listing some fave bands brought STEWART to the venture. Although he hadnt played drums since shool, he was blessed with natural rhythm & the strong urge to beat the fuck out of things. Ideal for the drummer in a Punk band!! Next up Vocals! After a while practising with a really crap singer who kept developing a strange Mockney accent, ROSSKOs older brother SCOTT said he would give it a shot. SCOTT, normally a quiet kind of guy, had a singing voice that sounded like an angry Police Attack Dog falling down a well. Perfect!! A guitarist was the next requirement. A few guitarists had came & went. One completely inept. Another, could only play mega-fast thrash metal & thought Punk was an amusingly amateur type of music, so he was DEFINITELY out! The next one couldnt be arsed turning up to practise so he was out, but before he went, he recommended a friend of his for the job. ZIGGY turned out to share most of the same taste in music as the rest of the band & was a good solid Punk guitar basher, so he got the job!! Still needed a name for the band. Many different suggestions were thrown into the hat by the members, & friends of the band. Most of them far too obscene to put on MySpace!! (Tom would shit a Haggis!! Fuckin pussy!) In the interests of fairness & democracy, Rossko went with his own suggestion, FAKE PATRIOTS. Taken from the lyrics to the song The Myth Is Real Lets Eat on the album The Sky Is Falling & I Want My Mommy by JELLO BIAFRA with NOMEANSNO. Loads of drunken gigs followed: beer was gulped, cigarettes were smoked, promoters were threatened, sweary offensive songs were performed.. Eventually they recorded a demo called AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLORE THE MEANING OF LIFE. They sold reasonably well locally, but one of them found its way to Bob from HELEN OF Oi! RECORDS, thanks to Hedgy from ON FILE. Bob liked the demo & decided to put three of the bands songs on a compilation LP, PUNKS, SKINS, & HERBERTS. VOL 5. Soon after that, the band decided they had enough orrible songs to make a full length album. Two sessions were booked at SEAGATE STUDIOS in Dundee in the summer of 1999. Ten songs were battered out in the short sessions. They were added to the three that were recorded for HELEN OF Oi, & the debut album was ready. Eventually released on TENDERLOIN RECORDS as NO NONSENSE on CD. The album sold reasonably well & got good reviews all round. Soon after that STEWART had to leave the band due to work commitments. After a while of thinking theyd never find another drummer who would fit the bill, ROSSKOs old mate STEF, who was an experienced drummer, returned from a year living in America & joined the band. That was the essential catalyst that got the lazy bastards out of the pub & playing again. The band were coming up with great new material & returned to SEAGATE STUDIOS to record eight new songs. Four of the songs from these sessions were released by INTIMIDATION RECORDS on the AVOID ME EP in 2001. The band were happy to be back playing, recording & deafening people again. Some great gigs followed with the like of THE THREATS, THE REAL McKENZIES, THE EDDIES, SUPERYOB, THE SWELLBELLYS, ON FILE & BAKERS DOZEN. All was harmonious (Eh?) for the next year or so until internal difficulties split the band. STEF went back to playing with his own band VENETIAN LOVE TRIANGLE. ROSSKO joined with STEWART to form WASTED NATION. SCOTT & ZIGGY are working on top-secret projects, details of which are very thin on the ground.